whole home dvr network

I had DTV installed yesterday and got the whole home dvr setup.  It worked great.  I asked the tech about the VOD service and he said it was easy, "just plug your dvr into a router."  After he left, I plugged it in to my router and downloaded some stuff and really enjoyed the feature.  The problem arose when I went to bed and wanted to watch something I had recorded earlier.  The hd receiver in my bedroom said "no networked dvr's found."  Frustrated, I went to sleep and decided to take a look at it this morning.  After an hour of reading posts, I came across something that said not to connect dvr using ethernet port if doing whole home dvr service.  I also read to power-cycle the dvr and let it do its business and then do the same with the hd receiver.  I did this and unplugged the ethernet cable.  Sure enough the whole house dvr thing works. 

Do I have 2 services that conflict with each other?  How can I make this work?  I read something about a DECA connection via coax but don't understand exactly what that is or where to get it and why I should have to go through all of this.  I was willing to pay the $25 charge as stated in the website but the tech that came over didn't know how to do it, he said it was easy though???????  I am very knowledgable in electronics and can figure them out.  What exactly do I need to do if I want ALL THE SERVICES I AM PAYING FOR????????????????